My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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