It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
