very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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