Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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