I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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