i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize