you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
