how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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