i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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