I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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