Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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