I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How naked do you want me to be?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
