Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
