I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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