Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
