i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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