please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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