I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
please come you make the beer taste better
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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