I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
