This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize