Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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