He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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