a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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