Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
