i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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