The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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