I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
