If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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