No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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