do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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