I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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