Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
