What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
