we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
