How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
