dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
