you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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