This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
well, you know. whores of a feather.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
