He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
