shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
