you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
