some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
