is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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