in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
