I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
