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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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