how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
