Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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