I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
