He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
