i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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