The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
