I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
