I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
