Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
