i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
