i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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