Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
