You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
