It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
